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TheCrazedSide
One day a person came out of someone's ballsack....and that person is me, ladies and gentle turds. The end.

JD ALTURRE @TheCrazedSide

Age 27, Male

Hell ville

Center of earth

Joined on 9/14/18

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Latest News


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Here in Ecto City in the heart of the assimilation district, a miracle has happened. A human wrestler has been transformed into the first living hamburger with cybernetic augmentations. His name is Blake Burger, a wrestler who was fired from the universal wrestlin' league after he ate a planet sized amount of cocaine and cocaine accessories. allegedly. Here's the exclusive interview with Blake:


Interviewer: So, why a hamburger?


Blake: Well ever since i was a microscopic mother fucker I wanted to be one when I tried my first burger. Something was off about eating it, it could've been the fact that 10 million parasites were on this burger, but I like to think that it was a sign. I wasn't meant to eat burgers, I was meant to join them as my brothers. So instead of eating this specific burger, I showed my dominance in the burger restaurant by T-posing. Here's a pic:


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Interviewer: Oh uhm ok. Kinda just looks like the default pose animators use for CGI characters but ok I guess. My god you have a weird looking body. Looks like someone badly designed you and called it a day. It's like if tommy wiseau started making art, gah damn. Those proportions don't even make sense. Unlike the whole being a living hamburger thing, that part makes a lot of sense. But the unrealistic body? That ruins my immersion.


Blake: Well see that's what the media wants you to think. In reality, I was showing off my awesome power and ability to extend my arms into a T-pose shape. and also my body isn't weird, it's thicc.


Interviewer: Oh totally, yes. So then what occurred?


Blake: Well then it scared the restaurant off and they stopped serving hamburgers.


Interviewer: Really?


Blake: Naw, they all died from those 10 million parasites on their burgers you fuckin' mother. Anyways, after this I dedicated my life to finding some way to become a burger. Years went by without anything happening. But one day I came.


Interviewer: ...to a conclusion?


Blake: Naw, I just came and had some clarity. And then I came to a conclusion. And then I came one more time for good measure.


Interviewer: What conclusion?


Blake: That if I wanted to be a burger I would have to do it by my own 2, at the moment, very sticky hands. I spent months figuring out how to morph myself into a burger shape. I watched 1000 Mcdolnalds ads to prep myself until I learned the proper way to do it. and I finally accomplished. Aren't i beautiful?


Interviewer: honestly, bro, it looks like your skin is rotting and falling apart, your teeth are in bad shape, looks like you got some purple eye disease that's been going around in Ecto, and your legs are in the wonky shape of a fuckin' tesla truck.


Blake: So in other words, I'm perfect.


Interviewer: Yep totally what I mean, dude.


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Available for Work

Commissions for weird, surreal CGI artwork

iu_1340781_7033457.webpI'm open for commissions for CGI artwork in any quality and size you want. I am new to this so taking your requests could take time. Email me if you want a commission at jayce793@gmail.com with subject line COMMISSION. Payment will be via paypal. [prices below the rules]

RULES: I can make CGI artwork that is----------------------------------------------

1. Robots. Love making them :D

2. Futuristic/surreal: vehicles/spaceships/landscapes/cities/weapons

3, Aliens/monsters/demon

4. Any other interesting out there idea you want to see in a picture that would work with my style [ask and i'll see if it's something i can make]

I won't make CGI artwork that is---------------------------------------------------

1. Realistic humans/vehicles/landscapes/etc.[My style isn't very realistic]

2. Sexual/fetish content [an alien with cleavage and latex is fine but i'm not that great at designing naked people with their floppy weird parts nor is it something I want to make]

3. Furries/furry animals [Not well versed in designing these sorry]

4. Parodies [Sorry, not my thing either.]

5. Anything that feels too extreme or weird to me [just ask]

PRICING--------------------------------------------------

NOTE: prices could change depending on what you ask me to make based on how complex it is. If you want an epic picture of 10 ninjas posing while battling a spewing soda can while a nuclear explosion is going on during world war 10.....yeah, that will be a bit more than say an alien duck taking a selfie lol.

simple/cartoony character [not very detailed] - 30 USD

[20 for every additional simple character] 

highly detailed character [such as a very complex looking robot or alien] - 60 USD

[35 for every additional complex character] 

simple background [such as hills or an ocean, sky, etc] - 10 USD

detailed background [such as large city or a universe of planets] - 20 USD

---Lastly------------------------

If I accept the commission,, I will make a rough sketch of your idea [the sketch itself has no cost]. Once you're happy with the rough sketch, we'll discuss payments and after I get paid I'will start designing and show you my progress along the way.

No refunds unless I can't complete your artwork. 

Any other questions or concerns, feel free to email me at jayce793@gmail.com iu_1340782_7033457.webp iu_1340783_7033457.webpiu_1340784_7033457.webp

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